The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man: June 2012

Dear Sayan,
Today you turn four. You woke up this morning, in between mommy and daddy, and gave us your usual sweet sleepy smile with crinkle eyes and hugs and kisses.

Then you realized... Today is my birthday!! You sat bolt upright in bed and asked "is today my birthday??" we said it was and daddy told you the story of when you were born -- 4 years ago today. You listened and then clarified that the doctor really didn't do much to get you out of mommy's tummy, that actually you did everything, all that work yourself. I can understand your perspective!

Then out of the corner of your eye you saw the balloons bobbing on the table and you shot out of bed to investigate. You saw the party mommy and daddy had made for you and you did your wiggle dance. You put the crown on your head and decided it was time to open a few presents. You collected them and we all sat on the floor together while you opened the first one.

Sayan you have such a gift for being in the moment, and enjoying and appreciating what comes your way. Daddy lifted you up and you hung the wind chimes that are just your size on our back porch. You carefully carried the boat picture and placed it on your shelf in just the spot you can see it best. You and daddy had so much fun sifting and organizing the colored tea lights. It makes us feel so special to see how much you value and care for each present that you receive.

After presents you got to have a video chat with Auntie in Nepal. You showed her how you could do big high jumping with both feet off the ground. Daddy made you 'animal bacon' as your birthday breakfast treat and you helped mommy make the cream cheese frosting for the mini muffins you helped bake for your class. You are such a big helper and are growing up so fast, learning to do more and more things by yourself in a responsible way.

We ate breakfast together, you spread leftover frosting on toast and had bacon eggs and strawberries. You wore your crown during breakfast until you decided it was 'maybe too itchy'.

Daddy lit a birthday candle for you and said beautiful words about how important you are to us, how well you are growing and learning and sharing your light and big beautiful heart with all your family and friends and how proud we are to share our life with you and to learn from you too.

Then you wanted to make a birthday wish and you closed your eyes and said "this birthday wish is for my family that I love" and you opened your eyes and blew out the candle.

You took the long gold candle you had chosen and relit each of the little candles and then told daddy to make an eyes closed wish and then told mommy to make an eyes open wish for you. Then you sat to make a long quiet wish for yourself with your eyes closed-- you were so settled with a little smile on your face, but every few seconds you would take a little bite of bacon and go crunch crunch while you had your eyes closed making your wish!!! Such a silly beautiful boy.

Mommy packed your lunch for school, your favorite foods peeled eggs and strawberries and baby cheeses in the little red cooler grama and grampa had given you.

Mommy and daddy and Sayan went to your school and all the kids were on the playground waiting to celebrate your birthday with you. You chose a muffin with the cream cheese frosting and a raspberry on top and then you offered muffins to all your friends-- Ro Ro and Lila and Gavin and Max. You told your teacher Rosie how you helped make the muffins and she was very impressed at what a big helper you can be.

Sayan, every moment our hearts do a wiggle dance because you are in our lives.

Thank you for all the blessings you share with us, for your wisdom and courage and mischief and insight and for your infinitely compassionate heart that shines such a bright light for the world.

All your family, all your friends love you with a fierce tenderness that expands into forever. You are my greatest gift, the greatest gift 'in my real whole life!'
Enjoy your special day today and lets play together, always.

I love you,
Your Mommy